New Start
by cmr2014
Summary: This is what happens when I can't sleep. An out-there AU of what might happen if Ward did indeed die but mysteriously, unexplainably, came back.


DISCLAIMER: Agents of SHIELD and its characters are owned by Marvel Entertainment.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: *points finger at TriniTea* Her fault. I was standing on the corner, minding my own business, she hits me over the head with a SkyeWard sign. She forced me to do this, I swear.

 **New Start**

"They're here, Director," came the aide's voice over the wireless intercom.

"Send them in," the Director of SHIELD instructed. To the air: "Full privacy protocol, authorization Mace." There were no acknowledging sounds, but the room was now rendered sight-and-sound-proof to the outside, a silent frequency scrambling any transmissions from inside. Nobody would know what went on in this meeting except the three men who were about to have it.

The door buzzed, then clicked and opened, allowing entry to SHIELD agent Phil Coulson and a taller man with a hood over his head who was guided by Coulson's grip on his arm. The hood was made of nanite-laced fabric that prevented see-through tech from penetrating; no chances were being taken on this person being seen and recognized. The door clicked again when it closed, re-establishing the privacy seal and full lock. Not even the aide outside knew who the man with Coulson was, and as aide to the Director he had one of the highest clearances. This was cleared only for these three men.

Director Mace stood briefly in greeting, then resumed his seat. Coulson sat as well, tugging down the other man into the chair next to his. He removed the man's hood.

"You know who I am, but we've never met," the Director stated. "I'm Director Mace."

"Hello, Director," the man said stiffly.

"Hello, Ward. Before we actually start, do you have any questions?"

Grant Ward nodded. "Why am I not dead?"

"We don't know. Coulson's filled me in, but I want to hear it from you – what do you remember?"

Ward sighed. "Things I want to forget."

"Be specific."

"I remember what's in the file. I remember Garrett finding me and training me. I remember owing him for that, that loyalty is important. You have to be loyal to those loyal to you."

Coulson stiffened, but said nothing. This wasn't about digging up old feelings.

"I remember…I remember wishing it could be different. That it didn't have to be that way. I remember Sk – Daisy. I remember her, and wanting so much for it to not have to be the way it was."

His eyes closed for a moment. "I remember her kiss. That one little moment of feeling…complete."

They opened again after a breath to gather himself. "I remember understanding the team turning their backs on me, accepting it. And thinking if I could just get Skye – if I could just get Daisy to understand, to give me a second chance, that I could make it right.

"That I could learn to be better.

"But then she shot me, and it was clear she would never again see me the way I wanted her to.

"So if I was now supposed to be the bad guy, I would be the bad guy."

He turned to Coulson, eyes growing wet. "I wish I could make it right. I can't ever be sorry enough for Rosalind…"

Coulson squeezed Ward's arm gently. "Leave it in the past," he instructed, hoping that someday he could heed his own advice.

The Director gave Ward a moment, then said, "Continue."

Ward wiped his eyes with the back of a hand. "Yes, sir. I remember working to rebuild Hydra. What happened on Maveth."

"Do you remember anything of the being known as Hive?"

"No, sir. All I remember after Coulson rightfully killed me is waking up somewhere, the way you do from a nightmare. Everything I remembered made me sick, but after there was nothing left to come up, I sat down to think, and that's when the urge to find Coulson hit me. I can't explain it, it was just this drive to find him, like he somehow knew what was going on."

"Which I didn't," interjected Coulson. Quieted with a raise of the Director's hand.

"I walked and hitchhiked and managed to make contact. Thankfully," Ward said with a weak smile, "he had enough restraint not to kill me a second time. He used an icer. When I woke up, he was scanning me with some tech gadget. We talked a long time, going over everything again and again."

"You believed him?" the Director inquired.

"He scanned normal," Coulson replied. "No Inhuman DNA, no other abnormalities. Physically, he's Grant Ward."

"And otherwise?"

Coulson looked Ward dead in the eyes and nodded. "It's my solid opinion, Director, that this is not the Grant Ward who betrayed SHIELD. I believe the man sitting with us now is truly repentant. He is who Grant Ward should have been all along."

"I've reviewed the recordings –" It surprised neither Coulson nor Ward that SHIELD monitored the outside residences of its agents. "– as well as the stress analyses thereof, and I agree with your assessment. We don't have any idea whatsoever how this has happened, but Grant Ward is alive and a better version of himself. Coulson and I have already discussed it, and broached the subject with FitzSimmons as much as we can without bringing them in, and there is no way we can think of to determine how you're back. And frankly, with other concerns at hand, as long as you're not a threat, I'm not inclined to worry about it.

"Now we're at the point of this meeting. Ward, what do you think we should do with you?"

"I need my memory wiped."

The Director blinked, genuinely surprised. "Why do you wish that?"

"I've done too much, sir. Nobody would be able to trust me again. And I know this part is selfish, but I don't think I could stand the way Sk – Daisy would look at me. She'd be right to, but it would burn my soul every time. She'll never see anything good in me again."

"Coulson?"

"I've discussed it with him. He's adamant, he firmly believes no amount of atonement could make things right in the eyes of the people he hurt the most."

"Are you absolutely sure about this, Ward?"

"I am, sir. It's better for everyone if I stay dead." _Especially Skye. If me dead gives her peace, I don't want to ruin that for her._

"All right. You'll first need surgery to alter your appearance to avoid accidental recognition, then we'll perform the wipe. Only the three of us will have clearance for the full file on this. Oh, and Ward?"

Ward looked up, Coulson pausing from preparing to place the hood on him again. Director Mace stood up and reached out, grabbing Ward's hand in a firm shake.

"Good luck in your life as a better man."

* * *

"Director."

"Coulson. Sit." Coulson did so. "How is he?"

"Surveillance indicates everything took," Coulson informed the Director. "He seems to be doing well in his new life."

"So he's stationary?"

"Yes, sir. Any time it's necessary, we can bring him in."

"Good. You never know when we might have a pressing need to find out specifically how he came back or why he's not the same person."

"Understood."

"Now, the real reason I called you in. It's been suggested to me that SHIELD could use both some good PR and a little misdirection to the public. A network wants to make a tv show about SHIELD."

"Who would want to watch a show about us?" wondered Coulson.

"Oh, you know, the usual nine-to-five people looking for some escapism. Everybody who isn't in spy work thinks it's so exciting. I wanted to know what you would say if I threw out his name."

"I think his identity could handle it, if that's what you mean. And actually - if he played a SHIELD agent and we had to pick him up, that might make him easier to reactivate if necessary," Coulson mused.

"So you're ok if I pull some strings to put him on the show?"

"As I said, I think his identity can handle it. And he looks different enough I think no one who knew him could recognize him."

"Good. It's a go, then. I'll make the call."

* * *

"That's a wrap for the day! Good job, everyone." Actors began leaving the set.

"Brett!"

Brett Dalton turned with a warm smile as his co-star caught up with him. "Hey, Chloe. Thanks." He accepted the bottle of water she held out. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to say, that was some stellar work you turned in today. It's amazing how good you are as Grant Ward. I mean, how do you do it?"

Dalton shrugged. "There's just something I seem to connect with in the character. It feels right, almost like it really _is_ me."

Chloe Bennet smirked. "Maybe you were Ward in a past life."

Dalton laughed as they left the building, the _Agents of SHIELD_ set going dark for the night. "Maybe I was."


End file.
